ELIMINATING THE MONSTER

Kurt Angle vs Abyss in a cage match, among others.

Plus, ReAction.

Forewarning: Fangirling. (Sorry.)




God I hate this Abyss angle. I like Abyss -- or maybe I mean to say I just like Chris Parks -- but this angle is staaaaaaaaale.

I liked the backstage thing with Kurt just then, seeing the magic platform. Never seen it from that angle (snerk snerk) before. Obligatory 20-minute opening shit-talk. Kurt, why are you even in this? I wish I could sprinkle some continuity-fairy-dust all over the impact zone.

"I cut the cancer out of TNA." HULK HOGAN?! "That's YOU, Abyss." Darn.

Do not care about this. How about we get to a match I might ACTUALLY care about, as unlikely as it may be. Does ANYBODY care about this? Raise your hands. Oh, NOW the security shows up.

Beer... MONAY.

Oh my goodness gracious me. Hang on, utterly uncontrollable AJ fangirling. Holy holy holy holy holy. Can that just... be on the screen at all times please? Thank you.

GOOOOOOOOORE.

And AJ spits the beer? That's cool. Sorry, I was just way distracted by AJ. /failmanda

Oh look, Ric Flair's bleeding again. This is less exciting than shoes.

YOUR BALLS ARE BIG AGAIN!

Guns on my TVVV. Sabin's "I'm a hard ass" face makes me go a bit wibbly and hee xD

But I'm glad to see Ink Inc in the ring again, I really like them. Mohawks unite! I adore Jesse Neal. No apologies. I want MMG to heel turn and then feud with them. That'd be pretty epic, IMO.

I hope Shelley comes out here and cleans house.

GenMe needs new ring gear, it looks like they went to JoAnne Fabrics and got a bolt of clearance 80s fabric. And crushed velvet. You guys can work on that.

Taz... WHAT? "Shannon Moore, all inked-up-mohawk flarin' like a pack of hemorrhoids!"

SENSE, TAZ, YOU DO NOT MAKE IT.

Gen Me for the win, really? Okay Shelley, get it out here. Ahh, there we go. Brief, but... effective. I like Shelley's bright orange shoes. I'm being a girl today and looking at shoes. Sorry.

Also, hey, Joe is talking! Yay! "You're right about one thing, Anderson... you are an asshole."

Ooo moar Guns. I REALLY love Sabin's "I'm a bad ass" face. xD You can't act, bb. But we love you anyway. Well. Enough of us do. Ignore everybody else.

It seems like Spike/Impact can't make up their minds whether or not they want to bleep "asshole". Oh well.

Pope? What? Can't we just have... like... a straight match? Are we still punishing Joe? Oh he's on commentary. Okay. That's fine then.

Oh, AND Sting? AND Nash? That's cool.

Wow. Anderson for the win. Really. Poor Joe.

Woah was that a penis joke? Hahah it WAS. "Kevin Nash has a big black bat in his hands..not yours" "Nah, The Pope's not detachable!"

Oh Taz, why are you so ridiculous.

"NO GOOD SON OF A BISCHOFF." Cleverrrrrr.

So much talking. If we have ReAction now, shouldn't we be having less talking and more, oh gosh, I don't know, WRESTLING?

I'm bored again. I should start timing TNA and see how much is actual wrestling and how much is annoying backstage crap. I bet we'd all be sad and disappointed.

I kind of like Brian Kendrick, to be honest. I don't know why AJ is fighting him, but whaaaaatever.

I thought for a second Abyss just said "Gert." and I was like "Gert? No, she's Janice, who's Gert?" Hearing fail.

You know what, I have no pity for RVD. I do not care. He is not legitimately injured. I have no pity whatsoever.

Oh now Kurt is bleeding. Blood! Always a suitable substitute for quality entertainment! -_______-

That ring looks like a f***ing massacre.

Kurt, don't do that moonsault. You are going to fucking kill yourself someday doing that moonsault. Good. Thank you.

Anyway, now it's ReAction. Same match. Lots of blood.

Anderson.

Hahah took the door off the hinge. Clever.

Ughhh open wound. Don't want.

OH MY GOD VINCE RUSSO, REALLY?

"For the first time in nearly a decade, our Reaction cameras caught up with Vince Russo" What? ReAction has only been on for like a month. Do you maybe mean it's the first time in a decade he's been ON camera? Clarity, yo.

Vince Russo. Finally I have a face to the name.

I like how I can tell that Sabin and Shelley are totally in the ring behind him. They never come into focus but I would bet money it's them. And look they're being all goobery too. I like how I told myself I would make this blog all legit and serious business... and here I am, fangirling all over the place. Fail, self.

Sorry guys.

GASP. AJ said piss xD Three times. I wonder if Kendrick is actually that cracked out IRL. And he's the player of the week, really? Aww don't call him a small package! Okay he is teeny but still. He's COMPLETELY DANGEROUS for his size.

He probably is a little cracked out IRL. That's okay. He's not very articulate either. That's okay too. xD I kind of want to hug him. He looks squishable.

I miss the X-Division title.

I want to see Hamada fight Brian Kendrick. I remember seeing her fight some dude and it was awesome. I miss badass women's wrestling too. I know it's called TNA but come ON.

Well. This brings us to the end of our three hour block of Thursday night wrestling.

Or there's always Superstars. I wonder who's on. I wanna see the Dudebusters. Oh, divas. Lame.

Okay now this really DOES conclude our three hour block of Thursday night wrestling. Hope my rambles kept you moderately entertained.