Thursday, October 21, 2010

TNA is okay, but ReAction insults our intelligence

Half recap of TNA, half ongoing thoughts-on. Still too many promos but at least there was some wrestling this week.

Mr. Anderson comes out to the ring with his arm in a sling. Asks Jeff to get his testicles out of Hogan's and Bischoff's mouth purse, sack 'em up, put on his mascara and the panties on his arms. RVD comes out instead. Wants Jeff too.

Hardy being enigmatic (BIG SURPRISE) on the Titantron. Asks for forgiveness. Then Bisch comes out... and also asks for forgiveness. Dude, no. At least he still knows what the X-Division is... sort of. At least that TNA is purported to have one. Makes an ultimate X match between Anderson and Kaz.

TNA has a new opening which is mostly THEY... erm... Immortals themed?

Brief promo of the Shore gimmick crap. We need to drop this.

RVD goes into the locker room asking the EV guys which one of them did it. Tommy has him up against the lockers, says they're all friends here. Then RVD goes off in a huff. OK.

More recapping of last week's Shore "beatdown" from last week. Because once wasn't enough. It's lame and no one caaaaaaaaaares.

Look, it's Red! Yay! I am SO glad he's on my TV again... I just wish it wasn't in tandem with this crappy Shore gimmick! And I wish he wasn't jobbing -______-

But... there was a wrestling match before we hit the 30 minute mark. It was brief and Red jobbed, but it was Red and he wrestled.

Cut to a Pope promo in a strip club. Alright. TNA... stayin' classy.

Back to Mick Foley at his book signing. Kendrick is reading passages. I don't really get it.

Now cut to Fortune. BMI is talking about their match. Kaz joins in about his match. These promos always look a little awkward. Like they're supposed to all be so close and stuff, but they don't... quite... sync together as a cohesive unit. I also don't understand why they keep Icing Flair but it is relatively amusing, I suppose.

Bisch breaks up the party. Says Fortune cannot interfere with the AJ/Pope match.

Bunch of Beautiful Persons in the locker room. Tessmacher is asking them to help her wrestle. To their credit, the tell her to get the hell out. Which she does.

KATIE LEA. I guess her TNA name is Winter. She magically appeared to Angelina in the mirror. This is okay. I don't love it, but I love Katie Lea, and I'm going to go along with it for now because it gets Katie on my TV again. And hopefully, shortly, back in the ring too.

Promo for Turning Point next month.

TV Championship, Pope comes out first. Quick recap of last week's Pope vs Fortune handicap match. Now here comes AJ. I don't know why he's in jeans, but that's quite alright by me. Oh it's a street fight, that's why. I can't call this match guys, sorry. Good back and forth. AJ throws Pope awkwardly out of the ring. I kind of love those. AJ tries to fly but faceplants the arena floor.

Abyss interferes. Because he's not part of Fortune, therefore he doesn't count, and it's a street fight so there's no DQ. Abyss hits the black hole slam. AJ smacks Abyss's butt and gets a very reluctant three count from Ref Hebner, Sr.

Fortune stands on the ramp and celebrates.

Promo from Sarita, talking about her match with Mickie. And then does some yoga for good measure. Carry on.

Back from commercial, Pope limping. Runs into Joe! Have some words. Joe walks off.

Flair and Bisch in the office talking about... I don't even know.

Oh good, let's talk about this 3D thing, because I still don't know if it's a work or what. If they worked us, I'm pissed. I just... don't LIKE this. Announce their so-called retirement match with the Guns at Turning Point.

Speaking of Guns, some weird promo... thing. Outside playing football. One of the Beautiful Persons. Suddenly, GenMe appears! I don't understand it but that's okay because... it's the Guns. Never enough Guns on this show, s'far as I'm concerned.

Jeff Jarrett backstage promos (Lots of backstage promos this week but at least there's more wrestling.) Says he owes Angle an apology. (And a wife!)

Jeff Jarrett comes out. Isn't he heel? I'm so confused right now. I thought he was part of They... Immortals. Continuity. From one week to the next. This can NOT be so hard.

"You sold out" chant. So I guess he is heel. For the time being. Is apologizing to Kurt. "Jarrett Sucks" chants. He deeply regrets his actions. "King of Nothing" chant (I think.) Aw yeah, there it is. He regrets not kicking the crap out of Kurt more than he already did. At least the continuity is still intact. "Ah MADE you... and Ah BROKE you." AND you stole his wife! =D

JOE. Jarrett handcuffs Joe but has his hands in the FRONT, duh, that is not how you do it. So Joe tries to choke him but the security gets him away and JJ beats the crap out of Joe some and throws him off the side of the thing. Tenay is yelling at Jarrett. Crowd is booing but I don't know if it's for Jarrett or Tenay. JJ and security cronies walk away but not before peering over the ledge, which is higher up than it looks, to a crumpled Joe on the floor.

Beer Money vs RVD and Sabu. Because this booking makes so much sense, but whatever. It's okay. I actually like Sabu in the ring. He's one of the "old guys" that's still a decent wrestler. James just randomly threw himself out of the ring. I love it when those happen too. Then he accidently spits the beer in Bobby's face. But it's okay because Beer Money still won. With some chair interference.

Suddenly RVD and Sabu are fighting. If there is one more heel turn, seriously.The rest of EV2 come out to separate them.

Mickie James cutting a promo. I love her. Riding a fake bull but whatever I'm gonna let that lie.

Bisch, Kaz and Flair talking backstage. Hogan has the utmost faith in Kaz.

Oh yes, Sarita. Good. And Mickie. I approve. Legit Knockout action. Women ACTUALLY wrestling! What a novel concept! Mickie gets the pin. Man, that was good. Best ladies match I've seen in a while. Actual wrestling, not a squash... awesome. Tara comes in to spoil things a bit and lands the Widow's Peak on Mickie.

Anderson backstage promo-ing. Says there are three things in live that are absolutely certain. 1. Death 2. Taxes 3. He is going to whoop the shit out of Jeff Hardy. Alrighty.

Oh look... a Mickie James backstage promo! She's going to bitch at Bisch about Tara. Good luck with that, honey.

Fortune beating the heck out of Anderson before his match. They're picking him up and carrying him to... the front of the ramp. Kay. Here comes Kaz. Fake surprise. Kaz in the ring trying to intimidate the ref. They ring the bell but Anderson hasn't moved. Kaz swings out onto the ropes but Anderson runs in there and yanks him down. Anderson appears to be trying to get something from under the ring, my thought is a ladder.

Anderson tries to swing one-handed onto the ropes but it doesn't work. I can't help but wish this was a legit Ultimate X match.

Yep, Anderson went under the ring for a ladder. Which kiiiiinda ruins the whole, you know, concept of the Ultimate X match. When Anderson goes for the X, Fortune runs out. Get Anderson down. Matt Morgan puts Kaz on his shoulders and he gets the X down. Anderson emerges from under the ring with a steel pipe and sets on taking out Fortune and they scatter. Jeff runs out with a chair and stands behind him. Whops him. Bleeding like a stuck pig. That's right, I remember hearing Anderson needed stitches and had a concussion. I wish we'd stop hitting people in the head on this show. I firmly oppose headshots.

The fans are flipping shit on Jeff Hardy right now. Nice.

Flair and Bisch again. Flair says he's leading Bisch to the promised land. I guess they're picking up some ladies. Hey, it's Kurt. Standing in front of the car. With a pipe. Alrighty. He's in a sling too. Jeez. Busts in the back window with the pipe. Security runs out, rescue Flair and Bisch. Flair wants Kurt in jail. Mmmhmm. "I didn't even wrestle tonight and I'm bleedin'!"

I'm not sure how much I care about ReAction right now. It appears to be trying to tell us how awesome the Hogan regime is and how TNA is so much better for it. Um. No. I like how Hogan is all "YOU RAN THIS COMPANY INTO THE GROUND" at Jeff Jarrett. NO THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE IN THE PROCESS OF DOING.

I also like how they're trying to insist they had months of continuity on this angle. No, you didn't. You pulled this out of your ass. It's like trying to prove Nostradamus can predict the future. Just because you can fit the events to the purported plot doesn't mean it was foreseen. It means if it's vague enough, it doesn't matter.

Anyway, on the whole TNA was much better this week, but pretty much anything would have been. Some solid wrestling, especially from Sarita and Mickie. I wish the Ultimate X match had actually been a proper match, but at least there was some actual wrestling on this show this week. I could care less for ReAction though. 

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