Or maybe more like Bound for Bankruptcy.
More of a recap blog than a play-by-play, I watched this shitstorm over at my friend's house.
Match 1 -- GenMe vs MMG for the tag team titles.
Probably my favorite match, but I will readily admit I am biased on the subject of the Guns. I don't know why they chose this match to open, but whatever. I guess they wanted to put something good out front and get everyone excited.
I was worried they were gonna make the Guns drop the belts to GenMe, knowing TNA's recent history of doing REALLY dumb things, but it ended okay. Unless you are a GenMe fan, and I apologize. But it was a good match, good opener (I guess), good moves. You can pretty much guarantee a good match when it's the Guns and GenMe. Or the Guns and anyone, but that's just me. I mentioned I was biased, yeah?
Match 2 -- Tara vs Madison Rayne vs Velvet Sky vs Angelina Love for the Knockouts title with special guest ref Mickie James.
I got up and peed during this match. Actually, I got up and peed while they were still doing pre-match shit talk session and still didn't miss anything. You can see how much I care for the Knockouts division these days. Speaking of, where the hell is Daffney? I heard she was injured but then she was working house shows... I miss her. Bring her back.
Anyway... It was supposed to be a four-way but there were only two ladies in the ring at any time (at least in the beginning) which left me a little confused.
Tara gets the pin, new champion, yadda yadda. I do not understand TNA's predilection for giving the belt to anyone who just shows up.
Match 3 -- Ink Inc vs. Eric Young and Orlando Jordan
I love Eric Young. I really do. I love him so freaking much, somehow even more now that he's let his hidden ginger self go free. I hate his gimmick. I hate that he's tagging with Orlando Jordan. But if it gets him back on my TV, I really cannot find it in my heart to hate it *that* much.
Match itself was okay... I guess. EY was in the ring. This whole thing with the rule book was lame, and making sure Orlando didn't cheat, and helping Ink Inc win... I don't get it. I don't know why they thought it was a good idea.
Match 4 --Jay Lethal vs Douglas Williams for the X-Div
Hey. Do you guys remember when the X-Division was a legit thing? I like Jay Lethal, and I like Doug Williams, but... come on. Match was okay, nothing spectacular. Doug pulled out some pretty good moves, that German suplex he does is pretty fantastic, I think. But of course Jay won, and I guess that's okay. And then this Jersey Shore horseshit. I made a proclamation last night, and I'll repeat it here so y'all can hold me to it, but if they ever -- EVER -- drop the belt to that Jersey Shore nonsense, I'm done with TNA. I will wash my hands of it, because that is a deal-breaker. I know there are times when I have said I am done with TNA, but that is really it, that is my limit.
Match 5 -- RVD vs Abyss, Monster's Ball match
There was a monster's ball match, and no thumbtacks. Nobody even bled that much. It just seemed... lame. I mean, according to kayfabe here, Abyss almost killed RVD, laid him out for like a month, caused him to lose his title and we have... this? This is RVD's revenge? Some barbwire and a smack to the back with Janice? I don't even. This match was only worth it to see my one friend get all excited about the Five Star Frog Splash.
Match 6 -- Nash, Sting and Pope vs. Jarrett and Joe.
I'm going to assume you all have seen or heard by now, but recently via Twitter Kevin Nash announced he was retiring from wrestling. Assuming this is true, this was probably his last match. For that reason alone it was very bittersweet.
Joe was amazing in this match, but that's a given, since it's Joe. He was selling pretty hard though, since we all know he's way better than he was making himself out to be. I was annoyed. Like the Pope could REALLY beat the crap out of Samoa Joe.
Jarrett's heel turn was pretty cool though, nicely unexpected. Did not like seeing Joe get beat up on by everyone else, but I am glad, in a way, to see Nash win his last match. Much respect. Gonna miss you, Big Sexy.
Interlude -- Team 3D's announces their retirement.
I hope no one was surprised by this. I never considered myself a huge 3D fan, but I was still getting awfully emotional as they were talking.. I know they've been around forever and are like... a staple, so it is really hard to see them go. I was very pleased and surprised to hear that they wanted their retirement match to be against MMG. That has to be a HUGE honor for the guys. So I really hope they agree to it. I'm sure they will. Team 3D, we're gonna miss you guys too. Oh my brothers... testify.
Match 7 -- EV2 vs Fortune, Lethal Lockdown
This match was almost really, really good. Fairly decent action for most of it. I enjoy a decent brawl, although I was getting kind of concerned when everyone started bleeding. That has to be SOME kind of health hazard, seriously. I mean I know the guys are probably tested to make sure they don't have, you know, hepatitis or whatever, but... still. All that blood everywhere cannot be good.
Then the weapons dropped and I'm pleased to see TNA still exhibits invention with their weaponry. You never see a cookie sheet in WWE. I don't know why that amuses me so.
I got concerned when Kaz and Stevie were up on top of the cage, what with the wobbly ladder and table and what have you.
And it was almost really good. And then Kendrick came out. From where he was hiding. Under a sheet. (How long was he up there? For the entire PPV? Or did set himself up there sometime just before the match started?)
Not that I dislike Kendrick, because I don't. I just don't think they know what to do with him so they threw him in this angle where he really has no business instead of someplace like... the X-Division where he could use the talents I'm pretty sure he has somewhere instead of just being... a weird stoner.
But yeah, when that happened, the match lost any good it might have garnered. And I feel bad, putting the failure of this match all on Kendrick's shoulders. The gimmick was just dumb.
Last Match -- Hardy vs Anderson vs Angle for the TNA World Title
I really had no interest in this match whatsoever. Showing me 6000 promos for it is not going to make me care.
But yeah, how about we talk about the part where Jeff Hardy turns heel at the end and Hogan and Bischoff and Jarrett turn out to be "Them".
A couple of my twitter buddies had actually called this. I was a little dubious at the time, but you guys were right. *thumbs up* well done.
Also, I'm kind of pissed we got worked by Hogan. I don't know why. I was actually finding myself legitimately concerned for the SOB and here it turns out to be a work. I hate it when they manipulate my emotions like that.
So, Jeff Hardy turned heel, which was kind of cool, but They turned out to be no one surprising at all, and that was suck and fail and lame. They were not coming. They were already there.
I did like that everyone was throwing garbage and stuff in the ring after the whole Jeff-Hardy-turns-heel-and-here-They-are! thing. I really hope the powers that be do realize that was not because They had heat, but because the fans were all REALLY pissed off at that ending.
Also, as someone else mentioned via Twitter, Dixie was pretending to be surprised by these shenanigans, but then hasn't she been hinting at something big? Continuity fail. Yet again.
Oh, speaking of continuity fail, didn't Kurt say he was retiring if he lost? I'm pretty sure he did. But on the other hand, I am pretty sure I read somewhere that he had re-signed for another year. So I wonder how they're going to spin that. It didn't count because Jeff cheated?
Honestly, I don't even have the words for this pile of lame. I cannot even imagine how much longer TNA is going to last after this.
And one more thing, I absolutely cannot wait until Wednesday to share this: http://gerweck.net/2010/10/11/report-jersey-shore-cast-member-coming-to-tna/
If you don't want to click the link, lest the Jersey Shore-ness taints your computer, one of the ladies (I use that term lightly) is apparently set to appear at TNA on Thursday. And they're giving her $15,000 for this appearance. She won't be wrestling, but she'll be there. And apparently they're trying to work out a deal to get her to come back again.
Actually, this might be my deal-breaker.
So, you guys. What'd you think? Did you buy this PPV? Do you want your money back if you did?