Thursday, August 4, 2011

Spoiler Alert: SummerSlam

When things aren't quite rumors...

Okay, I don't know if this is going to be an ongoing thing or not, but I just saw a spoiler for what they want to do with the title at SummerSlam and I felt the need to... discuss it.

If you want to know, read on. If you don't want to know -- and I can't say I blame you -- go look at one of my spotlights or some lolcats. I won't judge you.

Okay, are we clear?

This is the spoiler: Alberto "Weaksauce" Del Rio gets the title.

What? What?? Are you even... you can't be... what. What.

First of all, let's talk about some other things regarding the title situation.

Who thought the Cena/Punk at MitB was amazing? Show of hands, please. Okay, well, I can't actually see your hands, but I'm willing to bet a lot of people loved that match. I loved it. I thought it was the greatest thing WWE did in a good long while. I saw all kinds of positive feedback from it. I saw positive feedback from people who hadn't been wrestling fans in years. Punk's promos and this match made wrestling fans out of people who had stopped watching years ago.

But why? Why did we all lose our shit for this match?

I think it was a combination of things. We loved Punk breaking the fourth wall during his promos. We loved hearing a wrestler talking about the things that a lot of us were feeling towards WWE and maybe also towards Vince.

We loved the match because it was not only between two people who hadn't already fought each other nine hundred times, but because Punk had a clean win and made off with the belt. We were expecting him to get screwed, and he scored a clean win.

Clean wins are not necessarily a thing that happens a lot in the WWE, especially when title belts are on the line. There always seems to be interference or flat-out cheating or a screwjob or a countout, or a dozen other unsatisfying ends to a match.

We loved all of these things, and this angle... because it was different. Because it was new. Because it was not the same old regurgitated BS that Vince has tried to shove down our throats before.

It was amazing. It was huge. Everyone was talking about it. Was Punk really gone? Was he going to come back? Wrestling was like mainstream for a little while there.

And now... this. We went through this huge, amazing, mind-blowing angle only to see CM Punk come back a week later, set up the exact same match for SummerSlam that we just saw, and now this. To give ADR the belt. To, once again, forcefeed us the same old reheated BS we've seen a thousand times before.

I can't even begin to say how disappointed I am to hear this. That they had this huge angle on their hands, that could have changed WWE forever... to give us the same old shit at the next PPV. To give us the "Vince McMahon is no longer part of the company" angle that they've given us five times in as many years.

And I don't understand why. Like it actually boggles me. They could've blown it up. Imagine if Punk didn't come back until Summerslam. Say it was like... John Cena and Rey Mysterio for the title. John retains, obviously. ADR comes out to cash in the briefcase. Maybe he even wins, who knows. And then... CM Punk comes out, right at the end. After all this sneaky viral marketing stuff. Just bam, CM Punk, out of nowhere. GTSs ADR. End. Whapow. Everybody's talking about it. He's been gone for a month and then suddenly there he was! What happens next? ADR vs. Punk? I don't know!

I think it'd be better than this sham of a match they have planned.

It's like they -- the writers, Vince, HHH, whoever -- thinks we're dumb and have no memory. Like we're babies; if we can't see them, they're not there. Or if a feud goes on for more than a month, we'll get bored. Granted, a lot of kids are into wrestling nowadays, but there's still a lot of adults there too. And we're not idiots. We can follow an arc that lasts for more than a month. That's why I like ROH, to go on aside. They have good, solid, drawn-out feuds. I happen to think a good long feud is better. The match means more, you get more emotionally invested, you're more willing to buy the PPV because of it. Whereas half the time in WWE, if you miss a match, you'll probably see the same match at the next PPV. Or it was on the PPV before it.

I think I lost track of where I was going, because I was about to start comparing ROH to WWE. (If you watch ROH, just think of the difference between the champ John Cena and the champ Davey Richards. Think of depth of character. Who would you say is the more satisfying champion?)

I really only meant to discuss ADR winning the title at SummerSlam. Ew. Not that I have anything against Del Rio as like a wrestler or even against him being champ -- better than John Cena for the 9000th time -- but I just... it feels like a letdown. WWE always seems to does this. They run this angle that is different and shiny and has this feel of "Oh my goodness what is this amazing new thing? Where could they take it?" and you think they're going to take it somewhere awesome and then they're just like "Lol nope, made you look. Have some same old shit."

I think they could have taken this CM Punk angle to awesome new heights and they just decided not to. I am very disappointed.

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